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Check Out Our Amusing Movie Reviews and a week look at the headlines
This week’s newsletter will be a bit different as I want to provide more comedy and fun to the newsletter outside of movies. So, I am going to cut about three movies from the current list. It also allows me to be more precise with my picks and give you more quality. Movies will still be a big part of it because I love providing that, but I wanted to change it up and put some funny headlines on which I have some takes.
FOR LOVE OF THE GAME: BRAVES FAN RISKS IT ALL FOR ICE CREAM
I saw this picture come across my timeline on Twitter (I refuse to call it X). All I am going to say, ladies, if he’s eating ice cream like this and doesn’t have that ring on, he’s a KEEPER. I am a big fan of old guys shamelessly doing things like this in public. When you hit a certain age, I think you just don’t care anymore, like when old people just walk around in their underwear cutting the grass. I can’t wait to just yell at people on my lawn and wear super tight shirts when I get old. Also, take a look at the home girl in the black hat because she was ready to risk it all. Fellas, take note of what experience looks like. Check out the full video here; it’s hilarious.
TENNIS PLAYERS ARE THE BIGGEST NARCS EVER!
I am sure a ton of you reading this, and I mean all 100 of you, thanks by the way, have been to a concert or some sort of event and got that hint of that stinky-ass weed. It’s a right of passage and lets you know that the event you’re at is where all the cool kids are. Yes, I am old and not a cool kid anymore, but I instantly feel like I am cool when I get that hint of that stanky stanky. The fact that Tennis players are Narcs doesn’t surprise me. I am not a Tennis fan by any means, but a sport that is essentially ping pong with people should at least try to be cooler. If you really want to get people to watch and enjoy the sport, I think after two sets, each player should take an edible and see who is a true athlete with the biggest adversity. Snoop Dogg would be smart and start his own Tennis league that takes place in a big bowl. Now that would be must-see TV.
MAN VS. MACHINE: FOOD ROBOTS ON THE FRONT LINES
In the city of angels, some real devilish things are afoot. Food delivery robots are being attacked and shit on at an alarming rate. The rise in AI is no joke, and we have had many movies tell us that their takeover is inevitable. See Terminator 2 and that one episode of Black Mirror titled Metalhead. If the machines are on their way to take over the world, then I am cool with it; just make sure my quesadillas still arrive on time. We always talk about how technology is bad, but if I have Wall-E over here making sure that I get my snacks on time, then I am cool with them taking over the world. The fact people are messing with them and shitting on the robots is very funny because imagine aliens (yes, they are real) looking at the history of man and seeing the moment that the world ended was when robots were tired of us taking shits on them. Call me a traitor, but I would be team robot all the way.
Next week I am looking forward to some more headlines, and I hope you had a laugh and enjoyed it. Now it’s time for your regularly scheduled programming.
WEEKLY MUST WATCH
RIVER WILD (2023)
THRILLER
NETFLIX
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score: 33%
Just look at the names in this movie, Adam Brody and Leighton Meester, be still my beating early 2000s teen drama heart. Also, we had another Adam Brody movie last week, and I am just gonna say it: he’s due for a BIG comeback, and I am buying all the stock in him. Anyway, this movie is a really good thriller, and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Like I said, you throw Adam Brody and LM in it; I am gonna watch it just for nostalgia. The movie follows a river rafting trip with two tourists where things get a bit rough on the river and off of it. The movie keeps you on your toes, and Adam Brody plays the perfect brooding villain. It won’t win any awards but will keep you entertained this weekend. Don’t go chasing waterfalls; stick to the RIVER WILD this weekend.
DOUBLE FEATURE
HEART OF STONE (2023)
ACTION
NETFLIX
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score: 51%
Special Agents, Gal Gadot, and some kick-ass action scenes. What more do you want? This movie is not on par with Extraction or John Wick, but it is a mindless action movie that will keep more than satisfied with some intense action that moves the story along. The plot is quite simple: a special agent is betrayed and looks to get even. I mean, can you get anymore simple? And that’s what makes it fun! Have a HEART and try this one because you might enjoy it as a Saturday night double feature with some popcorn.
THROWBACK PICK OF THE WEEK
WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER (2011)
COMEDY
HULU
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score: 44%
Sometimes, you need a cheesy rom-com to clean the pallet for the weekend. What’s Your Number?, starring comedy darling Anna Faris and Marvel legend Chris Evans is an underrated gem. The chemistry between the two characters is really good, and the story follows a woman trying to run through her previous sex partners to try to find the one that got away—just something about those 2010 comedies that just hits differently. I really enjoyed watching this one again, and I laughed out loud many times that I think you will enjoy it too for your weekend date night!
THE WEEKEND TWOFER
ATOMIC BLONDE (2017)
ACTION
YOUTUBE TV
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score: 64%
This movie is 100% under the radar in the Charlize Theron pantheon of movies. SHE IS SUCH A BADASS in this one, not to mention in the MAD MAX movie. This one is definitely a must-watch. With a background of the Cold War, Charlize plays a sexy, sleek agent bent on finding a list of double agents for British intelligence. I know what you’re thinking: what sets this one apart from any action movie? Well, it’s the action. Charlize did almost all of her stunts in this one, and what makes a good action movie is when the main character also gets her ass kicked. That realism and raw, visceral action makes this movie impossible to look away from and keeps you on the edge of your seat. The stylized action and the storyline, not to mention Charlize, are enough to make ATOMIC BLONDE one to watch this weekend.
TELEMARKETERS (2023)
DOCUMENTARIES
MAX
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score: 93%
Some documentaries catch your attention, and after a few weeks, you kind of forget about it. This one is hard to ignore. If you have seen any social buzz about this one, it is warranted because it’s a wild ride with some INSANE characters, especially Patrick J. Pespas, who is the star of this documentary that looks at the dirty world of Telemarketing. I was shocked and amazed at the lengths that some of these companies will go to get your money. From who works at these places to the organizations behind “fundraising,” this one is a wild ride into the wicked story of the people behind the most annoying calls you get daily.